Ask Ebun Anything 1.0
Oh, and 1000+ Subscribers!
First off, I just want to say a quick thank you to you for being here.
“Audience building” and all of that was not on my mind when I started this Newsletter in August.
I just wanted a new place to share my stories.
Today, there are over a thousand of us, and it’s just crazy.
I can’t imagine talking to over 1000 people about something every 2-3 days.
I’m grateful for all the support so far.
Every view, like, comment, share, and feedback.
I appreciate you, and we keep going. 🫡
Allow me to reintroduce myself,
My name is Ebun, and you are welcome to EbunWrites.
This is I.
This is also I-
(Pardon Substack for inevitably ruining the video quality:-))
Anyways, today’s post is me answering some questions that were anonymously sent to me a few months ago, amongst some other things.
This is long overdue because I had the idea for this post back in November when I barely had 200 Subscribers.
It’s April now, but I guess it’s better late than never.
How is your book going?
Omo. It’s going o.
After months of planning and mapping and doing literally every other thing, I’ve finally started to write.
I envision that I could finish the whole thing in just a few weeks if I just focus all my attention and energy on it, but that’s easier said than done.
On the bright side, the 15 stories that will be in it are already outlined, so that’s half of the work done.
Let’s see how the next 2-3 months play out.
Stay tuned too, by next week I will be announcing something “exciting” in this regard. 🤞
How to write consistently?
Let’s be honest, writing can be very hard.
Doesn’t matter how good you are at it or how much you love it, there are days where you just hate it, and the idea of even doing it for a minute stresses you out.
At least for me.
I guess the best way to remain “consistent” is to enjoy it.
Enjoy writing and enjoy your writing.
Ease the pressure off your shoulders by always trying to write a certain way or sound a certain way.
Write however you want to.
I won’t say you should create a daily writing timetable, or use writing prompts, or always write first thing in the morning.
Those things work, but I personally don’t use them.
The only reason I write as “consistently” as I do is because I enjoy doing it + I know the right tools to use per time.
I write about things that interest me, and I write in whatever style appeals to me per moment.
And I thank God for always keeping me inspired too.
On a final note, you should definitely start journaling if you want to make writing much easier for you.
Your thoughts become easier to pen down, and your brain gets used to expressing itself out loud in words.
I don’t journal, but I know how tremendously helpful it can be.
Just try it and see.
I have some posts relating to this (plus more on the way) on my other newsletter
, so feel free to check it out.
What is your favourite quote?
I don’t think I have one.
I listen to a lot of music, so I know a lot of lyrics and quotes from everywhere.
I like this one by Eminem, though, simply because of the clever wordplay:
“When that wheels loose, I won’t lose will.”
What is your favourite Bible passage?
Just one? 😂 I don’t think that’s even possible.
I have a lot, but at the moment, it has to be this:
“Whenever our hearts make us feel guilty and remind us of our failures, we know that God is much greater and more merciful than our conscience.” - 1 John 3:20
Side note, the Bible has all the words of affirmation you’ll ever need in this life.
Better than anything any man/woman could ever conjure up.
What fuels your imagination?
Everything and anything.
Everything around me that I see, hear, perceive and ponder.
Music. Movies. Books. News. Tv shows. YouTube videos. Tweets.
People too.
Human beings are very interesting.
We can be so vain, stupid, proud, ignorant, funny, intelligent, pitiful, and many other things.
So there’s inspiration in:
Conversations. Debates. Gossip. Body language. Emotions. Insecurities.
I’ll give examples:
“Romantic Homicide” was partly inspired by both the song and by the raging jealousy I was feeling toward someone a few years ago.
“Are you possessive or are you just insecure?” was inspired by me asking myself that exact question when a close friend of mine started to get close to another close friend of mine.
“Why do we take God for granted?” was inspired by a conversation I heard between a bike man and his passenger.
“Real men don’t cry” was inspired by my annoyance toward people allocating validity to the masculinity of men based solely on what they could do for them.
And so on, like that.
Your mind is very powerful, and it will be a reflection of whatever you feed it, good or bad.
That’s why you always want to be careful.
How do you come up with what to write? The title and all. Sometimes it feels like so many ideas are running through my mind, and I end up with half-written pieces.
Also, when you started Substack, how often did you write?
I think my answer to the question above this one answers the first part of this.
(There’s another related one below too.)
A lot of potential ideas and thoughts run through my head every day, so what I do is to make sure I write them out immediately or as soon as possible.
I write it down however it comes; it doesn’t matter if it sounds sensible or not.
Then when I have time or when I’m in a better mental space, I go back to make more sense of it.
Sometimes it becomes a draft that becomes a post/story; sometimes I discard it because it doesn’t seem feasible enough to keep for later.
The key is to never let an idea escape before you’ve had the chance to properly think about it.
Half-written pieces »»» Blank pieces.
You’ll just have to find the discipline to complete them eventually, and my good friend, ChatGPT, can help you with this.
I’m going to write a comprehensive post on the many things you can use AI to do as a creative writer, you’ll probably be surprised at the possibilities.
Subscribe to
, so you’ll get it as soon as it’s out.AI is the a powerful weapon for writers that master the usage. Don’t let them gaslight you, it’s either you adapt or become irrelevant.
For the second part of this question…
When I first started on Substack, I focused only on writing fiction, so my posting schedule was all over the place.
Fiction writing is a very draining exercise, so I was posting like once in 2-3 weeks for the first two months.
Predictably, my account growth was slow.
Then one day I made my first non-fiction post, and it did really well (at least by my standards at that time).
So from then I decided to mix things up by writing fiction + writing about my life and thoughts.
At the time I moved on to posting once a week ever Sunday, then in November, I decided to make it 2-3 times a week.
I’ve really enjoyed it, and I don’t plan to stop for now.
I take extended breaks when I become disillusioned with writing, but apart from that, I’ve been posting every 2-7 days for about 5 months now.
I kind of made it a responsibility because I knew that momentum was the only way for me to: 1. Remain consistent, 2. Get better at writing regularly, 3. And grow faster than I was doing at the time.
That’s why I laugh at people who want to have tons of subscribers and engagements after just a few weeks and a handful of posts.
Yes, it happens that way for some people, but those people are often outliers.
If you want to build something lasting and worthwhile, no matter what it is, you just have to be willing to do it regularly for a long time.
There’s no rushing it.
Anyways, I don’t think I’m qualified to write on newsletter growth.
I just love writing here, and I’m blessed to have a growing community of supporters who love what I write, so shout out to you all.
Ebun, why do I push people I know I love away: is it fear that they'll hurt me by leaving or fear that they don't actually love me?
It’s probably both.
I wrote a post about this last week, and you should definitely read it if you haven’t already.
I’ve never gotten so many “I feel seen” comments before.
I think the post will succinctly answer your question.
I will say this though: No matter your fear or hurt or trauma, it is possible to fully open your heart to love wholly again.
It will be a lot of hard work, yes.
But it’s possible, if you decide to commit to treading the long and terrible road to healing fully.
If not CU, what school would it have been?
Bowen University.
I wrote the screening exam on a certain Monday, got the admission on Wednesday, and on Thursday, my father announced out of nowhere that I was going to Covenant.
I wrote their exam and did the interview on the same Friday of that week.
I was so upset.
I was literally begging God for CU to reject me so I could go to Bowen. It was where I wanted, and my best friend at the time was also going to attend, so it just made sense.
Thank God for not answering that prayer.
I went to Covenant, met great people, learnt great lessons, and I wouldn’t trade the time I spent there to have studied anywhere else in the world.
What happened to Shola???
I wrote THREE different stories on what happened to him. 😂
I think it’s pretty clear at this point.
Unless you want a fourth part? 👀
I like someone. He's my friend, and most times, I feel like he likes me too. But this guy is sort of emotionally unavailable, and I really need to be able to control my emotions around him.
He's a very good friend to me, my bestfriend dare I say, but I feel my feelings are my cross to carry, so I wouldn’t want to burden him with it.
I just don't want to be affected by whatever he does anymore, really.
Relationship people.
Let’s look at your possible options:
You remain friends and continue to be hurt by his indifference. (In his defense he probably doesn’t know that he’s hurting you.)
Maybe you even stay and watch as he gets a girlfriend and treats her in all the ways you wish that he would treat you. (Recipe for serious tears.)
OR
You suck it up and tell him how you feel.
Worst case scenario, he says he doesn’t feel the same and you hold the rejection.
But then at least, you’ll have clarity and maybe the feelings will reset themselves.
I know that many girls will tell you to NEVER do this and I’m inclined to agree cause it generally never ends well, but it’s really the fastest way for you to come back to your senses.
The other alternatives to those two:
- You ghost him and end the friendship abruptly (terrible thing to do).
- You beg God to take the feelings away (100% success rate).
- You tell him and find out that he actually feels the same way, but he was just pretending because he didn’t know how to handle his feelings. Then you guys get together and become the greatest couple ever.
In the end, the choice is yours.
You want to prioritise your mental well-being. Feelings like this are often fickle and stupid, here today and gone tomorrow.
Intentionally keeping yourself in a hurtful space in the name of “I like him” is not a wise thing to do.
That’s just my thought, anyway.
Relationship people never heed advice, so I know that it’s what is in your mind that you will do eventually.
Who is your favourite Substack writer?
Her posting consistency was actually what spurred me to start mine.
She was sending out mails every 2-3 days when I first joined her newsletter in September, and I just found it so inspiring.
Like, “I can do that too naw.”
She’s also a very good writer, and she comes up with very unique ways to tell stories.
So yeah, it’s definitely Favour.
What is one thing you always think about?
The vanity of life.
I’m not even a pessimist, but it just fascinates me how futile life and everything in it actually are.
We come. Live. Work. Eat. Laugh. Build. Enjoy. Suffer. Cry. Hate. Love. Sleep.
All of that, and many more, with the inevitability of death hanging over our heads.
“Death gives life meaning.” I agree.
But doesn’t it just bum you out how “pointless” life seems sometimes?
No matter what you do or have or get, in the end, you will die, and you will be forgotten, and the rest of life just goes on.
Once you’re dead, you have no idea what’s happening in the world again.
So yeah, I spend a fair bit of my thoughts on this, and it helps keep me grounded.
Life has to be beyond accumulation and pleasure, there must be a much deeper reason we only get to do this living thing once.
I also have a post on this if you want to explore the thought pattern further:
I also think about eternity a lot.
Temporary Life = Permanent Eternity.
It’s scary if you decide to deep it.
How was Covenant University?
Where do I even start?
I loved it, can’t deny that.
There are a lot of misconceptions about the school by outsiders.
People hear that “phones are not allowed in Covenant University”, and they always have this exaggerated reaction like it’s one big deal.
It’s not, especially since you can get suitable replacements.
I’m not saying that the system is perfect; it’s flawed in many, many ways, and it’s so easy to hate being there, but as a student, you can definitely find a way to enjoy your stay.
I just found a way to make the best of the 3-ish years that I spent there.
I found my people + I bent the rules that I didn’t really fancy as much as I could, without ever being stupid about it.
Worked out pretty well in the end, thank God.
Tell us your Salvation story
This is a very interesting question.
I used to wonder why many Christians make such a “big deal” about having a “story” and “date” to the day you were saved.
Someone even told me that “if you don’t know the exact date, then you might not be really saved.”
I strongly disagree.
I know that being saved will often connote a radical and sudden shift in the life of someone.
For many people it was a dramatic experience that they will never forget, so naturally, they remember the date and have a “story” attached to it.
Many even celebrate it the way they’d do an anniversary or birthday.
That is perfectly fine.
To answer the question, I grew up in a Christian home, and I’ve been attending church since I was a child.
Of course, many gospel-related things were “imposed” on my head before I even understood what they were, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve grown into my own understanding and conviction of God.
My point is that it has been a gradual process all my life, and it’s still an ongoing process, so I don’t have a calendar written date or a cinematic story attached to it.
That being said, it was in January 2021, my first semester as a Covenant University student, that I answered the altar call with understanding for the first time in my life.
While I don’t believe that it’s compulsory to have a date, I also agree that, ideally, you should remember the time you made such an important decision.
Whatever works for you.
Just remember that God cares less about these human traditions and ceremonies and more about your heart.
Yes, you’re saved in the calendar date, but are you really saved in the way you live? You catch my drift.
Remember the thief on the cross?
He got saved barely an hour before he died.
No date. No announcements. Just a sinner who turned.
That’s God for you.
He has the power to be dramatic, but in the end, all he wants is a heart that’s genuinely repentant.
Hope this helps.
How old are you?
I’m probably going to be very famous in a few years, so I’m sure it will be public knowledge by then.
If you want to guess, then I’m older than Lamine Yamal but younger than Kylian Mbappe.
Are you single? (Asking for a friend.)
Yes.
Tell your friend to text me xx.
(Women only, please.)
Hi Ebun, it's quite an honour to communicate with you even though it's not directly. To hit the nail on the head, do you believe in the idea that a woman should not be in a relationship if she loves a man more than he loves her?
If you agree or disagree give reasons, preferably from experiential knowledge.
“Experiential knowledge” is wild.
I’m just a young guy, please.
This question doesn’t have a direct answer, in my opinion.
We like to use “men” and “women” in so many narratives that we forget that we’re all unique in our emotions, temperaments, and romantic expectations.
Personally, I’ve experienced being liked more by a woman and being liked less than a woman.
Both had their perks and pitfalls.
But obviously, mutual reciprocity wins all the time, and it exists.
I once asked one of my female friends this question, and she said she’d rather be with a man who loves her than one who she likes more.
So, it really depends.
Some men might tell you that it’s “annoying” when a woman they’re trying to get makes it “too easy” for them.
(This doesn’t make sense to me because love is meant to be “easy”. If you’re looking for a challenge, join the army.)
AND
Some women might tell you that it’s an “ick” when a man is always available and doing all the right things for them.
(That has to be some form of mental illness or unresolved trauma, I’m sorry.)
Just look at this-
Don’t say “it’s just TikTok” cause I’ve seen it happen many times in real life.
Anyways, I believe that if someone ever tells you that you’re loving them “too much”, it’s either they have deep-rooted emotional baggage or they just don’t like you that much.
Do you use writing prompts?
No, but some of my posts are inspired by one-liner prompts or questions that randomly drop into my head.
Like “Are you jealous or are you just insecure?” and “Are you desperate to love or to be loved?”
Prompts are great if they help you get into the flow.
1) When did you start writing?
2) How did you grow your audience on Substack?
3)What's your advice for new writers starting on substack or as a writer generally?
1- I’ve been writing since I was four years old or so.
I wrote for the bulk of my secondary years too. I “abandoned” writing for social media and TV shows from around 2018 all the way to January 1, 2023, the day I discovered ChatGPT.
So if you ever wonder why I’m so fond of AI, it’s because it helped me realise that writing, as hard as it is, doesn’t have to be so difficult.
But you mean when I started writing on Substack, then August 13, 2024.
2- The audience is still growing, to be fair.
What I did was to not pay too much attention to the numbers when I first started to post my work on here.
For months I did not even use Notes; I would just post and copy the link to post on my story for my friends to read, and I was fine with it.
I had been posting on Medium for over a year, and I only had, like, 30 followers, so I was even desensitised to metrics.
It was when I realised the potential for growth on Substack and I understood the benefits of having a decided audience that I just decided to put more effort into “building”.
I already explained my consistency strategy in an answer above.
To answer question 2, I’ll say “I wrote good posts over and over again, long enough for people to notice and start to care. I also enjoyed the process, ignored the numbers, and promoted myself shamelessly while doing it.”
3- I doubt if I’m in any position to be giving advice to anybody, honestly.
Just do what I did:
Write what you enjoy writing.
Write regularly.
Worry less about “numbers” at the start.
Expect growth to be slow.
Talk to people about your work.
Be patient.
Use Notes regularly.
Have fun with it, please.
The posts that got me the initial attention that started the rapid growth of my newsletter were the two “The Girls I Loved In Uni” posts where I mocked my epic failed attempts to get the girls I liked.
If your sole mindset is to write for attention, then you’ll get frustrated if you don’t get the attention.
Then you’ll just hate the writing process, which defeats the whole point.
That being said, no more Substack growth questions, PLEASE. 😭
I struggle with being consistent with the things of God; what do I do?
Well, fortunately for you, you are still alive, so that means it’s not too late to get back on track.
You just need to go back to the basics and don’t be afraid to start small.
1 is not as good as 10, but it’s much better than 0.
Pray for God to help you, because trust me, we can never do it by our own power no matter how we try.
Be consistent with the little habits first, then you’ll grow from there.
What’s your least favourite thing about writing?
Writing.
Especially when I have to force the first draft to come out of my head and onto the page.
I used to struggle for ideas, but I noticed that the more that I wrote, the more they came.
My brain got more adept to looking for inspiration from everything around it.
Unlike many writers, editing is my favourite part of the writing process.
If you ask me, that’s where the real writing is done.
Creatively, how do you keep your juices flowing?
Omo, I just thank God for that.
I’m not even kidding.
I call the Holy Spirit my “Senior Writer” because I know that God gave me the talent, and he makes utilising it easy for me.
Human-wise, the best way to stay “inspired” is by consuming way more than you create.
“Create more than you consume” is bad advice because if a well keeps giving and giving, it will run dry eventually.
You can only give what you have.
So yeah, read books, watch YouTube videos, have interesting conversations, listen to music, watch movies, and all of that.
Depending on what you write, you can always get ideas from anywhere.
But ideally, you want to consume stuff that “relates” to what you’re creating.
Write fiction? Read a lot of novels.
Write on Faith? Listen to sermons.
Write on societal issues? Watch the news.
Like that, like that.
Well, that’s the last of them.
Sorry if I missed your question.
Once again, thank you for being here.
There’s still a whole lot more to come.
Until Ask Ebun Anything 2.0 when we hit 2000 subscribers in a few weeks? months?
Peace. 🫡
READ NEXT-
I really love your advice on ignoring the numbers and enjoying the process. It was nice knowing more about you Ebun, the writing guru 💪🏿.
You have no idea how much I scrolled through this post to find something to disagree with 😂😭😭
Maybe it’s the hunger. I’ll be back🤌🏽