before you waste 2025, read this.
Well… it’s finally here.
The “new year” you’ve been eagerly anticipating.
The one that made you delay all the changes you should have made in your life months ago.
How do you feel today? Different?
Suddenly powerful enough to achieve all your goals?
Or still as lazy and unmotivated as you were last week/month?
Either way, welcome to 2025.
My message remains the same: Nothing will change until you take action.
Stop waiting and start working.
Before we dive into this post, I want you to do something.
Look at your list of plans for 2024.
Do you like what you see?
Be honest o.
Some people were able to achieve all or most of their goals for the last year.
Some others did not achieve everything, even the ones they were excited about the most at the start of the year.
Some didn’t even remember most of the plans they had made.
Well, 2025 is here, and as always, we all have a new set of plans.
Or maybe some of the plans are spilled over from last year.
Or two years ago.
We generally tend to see the new year as a “fresh start”, and that’s okay.
I think plans are good.
We should all have plans.
In this post, I want to explain ONE possible reason we probably won’t achieve some or most the goals we have set.
It’s not a novel concept, but we must avoid it critically as the days of this year start to pass.
Walk with me.
Have you heard of the term “Mental Masturbation” before?
No?
Okay then, let me break it down with these illustrations:
- Mike is tired of being broke. He daydreams about being rich; buying luxury cars, taking vacations and rubbing shoulders with the top 1% at fundraisers.
However, Mike doesn’t do anything to make money- he doesn’t even get a job. But he’s convinced that “one day” it will happen.
- Noel has seen the same girl in his favourite diner for two weeks straight. He thinks she’s cute, and by the few eye contacts they’ve shared, he thinks she likes him too.
Every night, Noel dreams of approaching her, charming her and then asking her out. But, he doesn’t actually do any of this. He overthinks and makes excuses until one day, she no longer comes into the diner and he never sees her again.
Mental masturbation occurs when you spend more time thinking about what you want to do and how good you’ll feel when it’s done, rather than spending your time doing the thing or taking any steps to achieve the goal.
You engage in unproductive and self-gratifying fantasies that bring temporary pleasure, but you never convert them into tangible actions.
It’s an activity that many of us unconsciously participate in.
I believe that, alongside laziness and lack of clarity, it is one of the greatest hindrances to personal growth.
On its own, it’s a fairly “harmless” activity, but like regular masturbation, it can be dangerously addictive.
It’s a deadly loop of mental stimulation because when these fantasies hit, dopamine (the pleasure chemical), floods our brain and makes us feel really good.
This sometimes then fools us into thinking we’ve achieved something, when in reality, we haven’t.
You engage in mental masturbation when you:
- Spend excessive time dreaming about your ideal life but take no practical steps toward achieving those dreams.
- Constantly dwell on past mistakes without drawing out any lessons or making positive changes.
- Engage in extensive planning without starting the work, thereby delaying your progress.
We’ve all done it, one time or another.
There’s nothing wrong in daydreaming about achieving goals; the danger is when we don’t do anything about it.
Excess dreaming = Inaction.
Inaction = Stagnation.
Stagnation = Frustration.
Frustration = Unfulfillment.
Unfulfillment = Sadness.
Fortunately, like every bad habit, this one too can be broken.
To back your dreaming with action, simply:
Set clear, achievable goals and create actionable plans.
Be concious of engaging in unproductive mental activities.
Take consistent action, start small, and gradually build momentum.
Limit your information intake to only the things relevant to your personal growth and goals.
Engage in mindfulness practice so you can always stay in the moment and keep your mind clear.
I’m sorry to break it to you that THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE for that work you’re avoiding.
As long as you want the results, you’re going to have to do the work.
There’s no crime in dreaming.
Please, I need you to dream as audaciously as possible.
But be ready to do the audacious work.
That’s it. Welcome to 2025!
I hope you rid yourself of this bad habit and not just stop at thinking how great your life would be if you did.
One more thing.
Don’t try to do too many things at once.
And don’t try to go all out on that big goal immediately.
Yes, you want to hit the ground running, but if you’re starting something completely from scratch, you need to be patient.
Start small.
Learn what works.
Be consistent in your action and your learning.
You don’t want to risk getting overwhelmed or discouraged.
So, take it slow.
You’ve got this.
I’m rooting for you.
P.S - Make it a conscious plan to reduce your brain’s stimulation levels this year.
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Well then, I never thought I would call myself a mental masturbator but we learn everyday.
As rema always say
Another banger!!
Amazing piece