Brain vs. Heart: The Eternal Battle
The lyrics of a song I know go thus:
“When did humans start to separate brain and heart as if they could stay alive alone?
What fun is it, to be so calculated?
Or be taken advantage of because your heart is too trusting?”
Mr. Logic and Mr. Emotion.
Always at war with each other.
When an issue arises, both sides present strong arguments.
A reason why their case should triumph over the other’s.
Either can be right, but neither is ever really wrong.
They often clash over many issues, especially when an important decision has to be made.
Decisions relating to life, career, faith, love, friendships, work, etc.
But perhaps the most common and fiercest battle is when:
Mr. Logic knows something is true, and yet Mr. Emotion just refuses to accept it.
That is my focus today.
In the left corner:
The Brain, aka Mr. Logic, the ever-practical strategist.
He thrives on reason, and he speaks in honesty.
Never compromising on what he believes, his superpower is facts.
In the right corner:
The Heart, aka Mr. Emotion, the ever-impulsive dreamer.
He thrives on intuition, and he speaks in feelings.
Never compromising on what he desires, his superpower is will.
In you and in me, they probably have at least one battle per day.
Why do they fight?
Because they each believe that they know what is best for their host.
And like I said earlier:
Neither is completely wrong, yet neither is entirely right.
The conflict of our focus in this piece is very popular:
Mr. Logic says, “This friendship is no longer good for you,” but Mr. Emotion counters with, “We’ve been through so much together.”
Mr. Logic constantly points out all the red flags in a relationship, but Mr. Emotion whispers, “But I love them.”
Mr. Logic warns, “This job is draining you,” and Mr. Emotion asks, “What if I can’t find something better?”
It seems simple when it’s written down, but these clashes can be difficult and last for a long time.
They can spend weeks, months, and even years debating the same issue, either side refusing to give in to the other.
And then there is Mr. You, stuck in the middle, holding the final say but not knowing which side to crown as the champion.
This dilemma can lead you into tears, confusion, prayers, and frustration, and sometimes, you’ll have to seek external counsel.
Because, like it or not, at the end of the day: one side must triumph over the other.
Right?
I’m best friends with Mr. Logic, or at least I thought so, till I had to make a decision some time ago.
I was very surprised at how unwilling I was to do something that was clearly the only logical way forward.
I just wouldn’t.
I couldn’t.
And in those moments of struggle—deep, painful struggle— I learnt a great deal about myself and Mr. Emotion in general.
Mr. Emotion might seem soft and reserved, depending on his mood (you don’t want to meet him when he’s hurt or angry).
But he’s inherently more stronger and much more stubborn than Mr. Logic.
He’s more powerful because he deals with will, unlike his counterpart that deals simply with facts.
Mr. Emotion does not care about your “data” or your “evidence”; he’s more concerned with attachments, memories, and (the most dangerous) hope.
Hope = “What if?”
He wonders what could be, even in the face of glaring uncertainty.
This is why Mr. Emotion can be so unstable, vulnerable and easily injured.
It’s also the reason he’s more prone to manipulation than Mr. Logic.
Mr. Logic always operates with clarity.
He simply cuts through the noise and focuses on what is rational.
His job is primarily to protect, and that’s why even though his outcomes are usually “boring”, they end up being safe and peaceful.
He relies on what is already known and reliable.
Stay with me…
This is the summation:
Logic deals with facts toward an outcome of safety.
Emotions deal with will towards an outcome of hope.
It’s why a father will run into a burning building to save his child.
He does not care about the fact that the fire will probably kill him and that being outside the house is safer for him.
The mere hope that he can rescue his son or daughter from death is enough reason for him to ignore all logic and rationality.
That’s the power of human emotion.
And why Mr. Emotion > Mr. Logic.
(Not better, just stronger.)
I’ve digressed off my original point.
So, I’ll make two new ones.
Emotions are powerful. If you’re a deeply emotional person, you are strong. Even if you have trouble making decisions or standing on your choices, there’s nothing wrong with you.
You just have to learn how to regulate your feelings and be more objective when you need to be.
Just like the lyrics from earlier clearly state, the brain and the heart were never meant to be “enemies”. God didn’t create them to be in a constant tug of war.
He created them because we need them both in our lives to function. To make safe decisions when necessary and to hope against all odds when necessary.
With that being said, let’s reach a conclusion.
Mr. Logic and Mr. Emotion are both after one thing:
Your happiness.
But like we’ve seen, they have two very different views on what would make you truly “happy” and two opposite ways of reaching that goal.
Mr. Emotion is not your enemy.
He’s just scared.
Scared of losing something precious.
Scared of making the wrong decision.
Scared of change.
Mr. Logic is not heartless.
He’s just trying to protect you from pain, failure, or regret.
So, what happens the next time your Brain and Heart don’t agree?
Acknowledge Both Sides
Don’t try to sideline one for the other or pretend like it doesn’t exist.
Think through both arguments and weigh them carefully.
Listen to Mr. Logic’s reasoning.
Feel what Mr. Emotion is experiencing.
They both deserve a voice, and more often than not, they are both right.
Look for Patterns
Ask yourself: “Have I faced a similar situation before? What did I do, and how did it turn out?”
Past experiences can often provide clarity on whether to trust your brain or your heart in the present.
If being logical worked well the first time, apply it again.
If the emotional approach did the job, go with it again.
Unless you want to experiment “for the plot.”
Then I don’t know what to tell you…
Give It Time
This was what did the trick for me.
I told logic to respectfully f- off, and I felt my emotions to the core.
As difficult as they were.
When I was done processing my feelings and letting them run their course, I made the decision that I knew was rational all along.
Mr. Logic moves quickly; Mr. Emotion does not.
Let yourself sit with your feelings.
Sometimes, clarity will only come after you allow both sides the time and space to fully express themselves.
Find Compromise
This is the most effective way to win.
They both exist for a reason.
It doesn’t always have to be one over the other.
You can let Mr. Logic lay out the map, but let Mr. Emotion decide the destination.
Or let Mr. Logic set the boundaries while Mr. Emotion provides the exceptions.
It’s all about finding that balance.
The Brain and The Heart.
They remind us of what it means to be human:
The ability to think deeply and to feel deeply at the same time.
So, let them work together. Let them find common ground.
Anyone who will live a fulfilling life must learn to balance the safety of logic with the hope of emotions.
Never try to completely silence one for the other.
There’s no flex in being a stone-cold person, and you should find no pride in being an emotional wreck.
Listen to your Brain for wisdom and your Heart for courage.
Find that harmony.
On a final note…
While Mr. Logic can protect you from hurt, failure, and embarrassment, he can also hold you back from growth.
Mr. Emotion focuses on what could be, and this gives us the strength to take risks, to endure pain, and to believe in possibilities far beyond “facts” and “rationality.”
So, while I’m still going to be best friends with Mr. Logic, I’m making it a duty to always remind myself that the greatest rewards can come when we embrace uncertainty and choose to hope.
That is that.
One facet to with writing pieces like this on emotions and humans and bla bla is that there’s always so many angles to explore.
You can barely cover it all in one post.
So I hope that you got the message from this one.
Shoutout to my senior writer, The Holy Spirit.
The past two weeks I’ve had no desire to write at all, but once I started this one, I couldn’t stop till I finished.
We’ll see if I’ll be back to regular posting again.
Peace. ✌🏿
Ask Ebun Anything 1.0
No, I haven’t done it yet.
Yes, it will still happen.
(I want it to be my 50th post and this is post number 40 so…)
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(A fiction story that kind of explores brain vs. heart.)
Let me hear your thoughts on Mr. Logic & Mr. Emotion.
This was very interesting to read, I have had so many conflicts like this inside me and it feels so disturbing most times. Thanks Ebun for shedding a bright light on this issue 🥺🙏🏿, I hope a lot of people get to read this.
Beautiful letter Ebunnn. I'm definitely revisiting.🤍