emotional attachment to the wrong person will kill you.

it literally will.

As heartbreaking as heartbreak is, this is probably worse.

I mean, oftentimes, heartbreak is final.

You might feel betrayed, shocked, sad, or even have a great desire for some form of closure.

But at least, whatever situation you were in is probably over.

Unhealthy emotional attachment is not the same.

No.

I mean, it will drain you.

Hollow you out from the inside.

And turn you into a shadow of yourself while you futilely convince yourself that you’re doing okay.

It’s even worse when you’re unhealthily emotionally attached to the person responsible for your heartbreak.

That’s not just a bad decision or a terrible mental space to be in; it’s guaranteed self-destruction occurring in slow motion.

Trust me, I’ve been there before.

It starts small.

You brush off the warning signs.

You ignore the bad feelings that last longer than they should.

You let your heart speak louder than your brain every time.

Then one day, something happens, maybe a little trigger, and then you realise that you’re stuck.

You’ve given someone too much control over your mind or your heart (or both), and now you’re trapped.

Maybe it’s limerence- your stubborn obsession with someone who doesn’t even see you the same way.

Maybe you’re holding on to someone who’s already let go, desperately hoping they’ll turn around and take you back.

Maybe you’re being held on strings, left confused by someone whose energy is never consistent; hot today, cold tomorrow.

Maybe it’s much worse and it’s:

Toxic. Manipulative. Emotionally or physically abusive.

And now you’re tangled with someone in something you think you’ll never escape.

The truth is that how it started or how it’s going never matters.

The end result is the same.

You pour. They take.

Or even worse, they ignore you.

You hold on. They pull away.

Or even worse, they’re indifferent about it.

You stay. They know you will.

Or even worse, they take advantage of you.

The end is always the same.

The worst part is, deep down, you know it’s futile.

You’re not just holding on to them.

You’re holding on to the dreams.

The hopes of them.

Who they were in the past.

Who they promised they would be.

Who they could be to you if only they just changed.

But things don’t change.

And people rarely ever change.

If they do, it’s probably not in the way you want them to.

For the sake of extending basic human grace, oftentimes, they might not even realise how much they’re hurting you.

They might not know that those little things-

Their little actions, done and not done.

Their little words, spoken and not spoken.

They might not know how badly those things pierce your heart.

But the reality is that they are piercing your heart.

Day after day.

Moment after moment.

Instance after instance.

See, when you’re panting after someone who’s ignorant of the way you feel, every facet of your emotions become more heightened.

You analyse everything: every text, every pause, every moment that doesn’t sit right within you.

Their absence kills you, even when you pretend it doesn’t.

You just cannot bear the thought of them living their life without you, going out with friends, going on dates, moving on.

This kind of unhealthy attachment is bad in friendships.

But in romantic situations?

My God, it’s a lot more disastrous.

Because when that kind of love gets in-between two people, everything starts to feel personal.

If a close friendship ends, you can sometimes convince yourself that it’s life and that it happens.

But when it happens with someone you are still deeply in love with, it becomes much harder to sit with the same consolation.

Suddenly, the balm of “life happens” just can’t cauterise the gaping wound in your heart.

Everything kills you:

The thought of admitting they were never truly yours.

The thought of the inevitable pain that will come after they leave.

The thought of being alone by yourself in the silence.

Knowing you might have to carry weight of those truths becomes an impossible thought for you to bear.

And so, you stay.

Even when they’re gone, you stay.

Even when it’s destroying you, you stay.

And then, piece by piece, you start to disappear.

Piece by piece, you lose yourself.

Piece by piece, you give them more and more pieces until there’s nothing left for you to give.

So, now what?

You can’t leave.

Even though you know you should leave.

You know you should’ve left a long time ago.

But you didn’t.

And now, you’ve already given up too much of yourself.

Now you’re here, holding and begging and hoping and desperately clutching to something that stopped existing a long, long time ago.

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