It’s another December.
I’m not sure what kids of nowadays will be up to, but for many of us years ago, the excitement of the new season would have started to build up.
First we’d finish our first term exams in school, then we’d attend the “end of the year” parties, then the holiday would start, and the countdown to the big day, December 25, would enter into full flow.
As children who were, more or less, oblivious of the situations of the larger world, I guess we had many reasons to be thrilled about celebrating Christmas back then.
And why not?
There was no school, we could watch TV all day, we got to see extended family members, we would watch Home Alone for the millionth time, we would travel to see grandparents, we would also get to eat lots of chicken and jollof rice, and of course, the highly anticipated Christmas Cloth and Shoe would be bought.
Depending on your family situation or reality back in the day, you probably experienced at least one of all of these things during the Yuletide season as a child.
Even if you didn’t experience all, I think it’s safe to assume that we ALL got new clothes during Christmas, either to wear to church for the service or to wear to parties and events.
Wearing that new shirt and new jeans or that new gown with those new shoes was, for many children, the highlight of the Christmas season.
And whilst this in itself was not a bad thing, it ended up doing some subtle but significant damage to the perception many of us have about rewards and celebration.
That simple culture of buying and wearing new clothes only once a year ingrained into many people the mentality that they only deserve to get “new” things every once in a while.
For some of us, we even had some set of clothes that we only wore on “special” occasions, whilst we used our regular clothes for every other thing.
I remember that when I was younger, maybe before secondary school, I had two or three outfits that my mother would never allow me to wear unless there was this “big” occasion happening.
My parents used to travel out of the country regularly, and they would buy things when they were coming back, but those things, especially the clothes, were off-limits for our regular usage.
This culture faded out as I got older, but I know many who were not so fortunate to have the chance of enjoying things on a regular basis, forcing them to imbibe the mindset that they only deserved to get things that would make them happy every once in a while.
Or that getting gifts or being celebrated must come only as a reward for doing something remarkable or getting an achievement.
As children or teenagers, some of us barely experienced things like spontaneous outings or spontaneous gifts, and now that we’re older, it’s affected how we view rewards and being rewarded.
Many people can’t do nice things for themselves because of this mentality.
If they haven’t hit a milestone on their list or aren’t marking off a special day on their calendar, they don’t feel the desire or see the need to do something special or out of the ordinary for themselves.
Most people who don’t celebrate their birthdays got used to not doing so because it wasn’t a culture during their childhood.
Many of the people who despise luxury and comfort do so because they were brought up to see those things as a “waste of money”.
So, the mere thought of spending that extra money to take a comfortable ride or to buy that nice dress is DIFFICULT for them to accept because they don’t think or believe that they deserve it.
Any expense that’s spent on self-gratification is automatically classified in their mind as “unnecessary”.
It’s quite sad.
I’m not despising the fact many of us are from backgrounds where financial frugality was the order of the day, leading us to have to forsake certain “extra” privileges and indulgences to save costs.
And I’m not downplaying the fact that many parents adopted this method of parenting in order to teach their children contentment and financial responsibility.
The point is that many of us subconsciously don’t even realise that we’re living our lives with the “Christmas cloth” mentality.
That mentality that sees being rewarded as exclusively tied to achievement, and one that regards gratification only as necessary when it comes after long intervals.
I don’t believe it’s a good mindset to have.
I believe that this simple perception issue is one of the reasons many Christians can’t step into the fullness of what God has for them.
They are small and beggarly, always playing the victim and looking for pity when God has declared them as Kings and Priests.
They are the ones always rushing to touch their pastor’s new car so they can “tap grace” and the ones always lamenting and declaring bad situations over their lives when God has said, “All things work together for your good.”
They see giving in church or to the poor as a “burden” because, in their minds, they are the poor masses that every pastor is trying to exploit.
God in heaven, creator of the universe and everything in it, has said that He has given you ALL things that pertain to life and godliness, and you still wonder if you’re blessed.
You still enjoy identifying with poverty jokes and believing there are certain things that are forever out of your reach because they are luxurious and expensive.
Wild.
Your self-perception, in relation to both yourself and the world around you, will greatly determine the kind of life you live.
Think scarcity, and you’ll attract scarcity.
Think abundance, and you’ll attract abundance.
It all starts from your mindset.
Who are you? Who do you think you are? What do you think about yourself? Do you believe you deserve good things? Do you know that pain from your past does not have to determine your future? Do you expect only good things out of life?
Foundational thoughts like this shape your life.
Whatever you believe in your mind flows out of you, and it affects the quality of your life and the way life and people treat you.
A person is truly as they think in their heart.
If you change the way you think about yourself, and you change the things you say about yourself, you’d be surprised how your life starts to shift and align with the things you’re saying and believing.
I’m not a fan of manifestation or self-affirmations and all that, but I’ve realised strongly the power and the ability of our words to create and shape the reality of a person.
Every once in a while, you might need a reminder that-
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
You are enough.
You deserve good things.
You deserve only THE BEST things.
You are powerful.
You are beautiful.
Your pain is not your identity.
Your mistakes don’t have to define you.
When people say things like this repeatedly to themselves, it’s not always mindless affirmation; it’s more of a battle to keep hold of their minds.
And that battle is a fierce and constant one.
Social media will tell you one thing, your family background will tell you another thing, your bank account will tell you something else, and your friends will tell you something too.
Everybody and everything around you is telling you something that has the power to shape how you see life and how you see yourself.
Learn how to fight.
Whatever is in your mind determines your life.
I honestly don’t know how else to say it or how to make it sink.
Tell yourself nice things. Buy those things that you want. Treat yourself. Satisfy that craving. Take that time out.
Gratifying yourself doesn’t always have to be justifiable; as long as you’re being responsible, then you deserve to indulge yourself every now and then.
You don’t have to live your life with the Christmas cloth mentality when you can live life every day with your coat of many colours.
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you’re an amazing writer Ebun
"everyday is not Christmas"