The other guy is a guy like everyone else.
He has his own dreams, his own feelings, and his own emotions.
The other guy, like everybody else around him, longs for emotional intimacy and connection with someone else.
But, unfortunately, the other guy has been very unlucky with love.
He has been unlucky with love all of his life.
The other guy is never interested in by the people he’s interested in, and nobody else at all seems to be interested in him either.
Of course, the other guy has a lot of friends.
The other guy has casual acquaintances around him and sparks that fly every now and then, but nothing that ever seems to look like romance in any way, manner, or form.
The other guy has had many romantic attempts in the past, but none of them, for one reason or the other, never worked out.
In the few moments when it seemed like it would work, the other guy was harshly reminded why he was the other guy.
Reminded by the way she confides in him about the guy she actually wants.
Reminded as he watched her have the time of her life with the actual guy.
Reminded by the clawing jealousy and spite that brews beneath his heart.
The other guy hates it, he does, but what can he do about it?
After all, he is the other guy for a reason.
So… he plays his role to the best of his ability.
The other guy gives advice to her about her relationship.
The other guy reassures her every time another man hurts her.
The other guy surrenders his shoulder for her to cry on.
As always, the other guy is willing to help, willing to be present, and willing to listen.
But, at the end of the day, the other guy is never the one loved.
He’s just the safe, ever-present option until the real option comes back around.
The other guy is the “thank you for always being there for me” text.
The other guy is the “any girl would be lucky to have you” speech from the same girl who would never choose him.
The other guy is the almost; he is the emotional support system without the emotional intimacy.
The other guy is the one people are comfortable with but never deeply desire.
The other guy is always close enough to matter but never wanted enough to be chosen.
The other guy is the low-commitment, low-effort man that many people like to have around.
The other guy hates that things have to be the way.
Why does he never receive the same kind of love that he gives? Why is he never considered for the “extra” gestures and actions? Why is he never viewed the way he wants to be viewed?
The other guy always wonders.
And with this wondering comes sadness, spite, resentment, shame, and self-loathing.
Yet, at the next request, the other guy is back playing his role.
The role of being ever-reliable and ever-dependable.
Part of the other guy is now used to it, but part of the other guy still wants love.
The other guy still wants someone that chooses him loudly and intentionally.
The other guy still wants someone that stays.
The other still hopes that one day, one day, it’ll happen…
Yet, that remains to be seen.
I’ve been the other guy before, and I can tell you for free: it sucks.
I’d never mock the other guy, because I know what it’s like to be him.
I know how it feels to be in that space, and I also know what it takes to come out of it.
If I were to speak to the other guy, I’d tell him one thing:
“That love you seek from outside will never come until you settle that love that’s lacking inside of you.
Until you plug that leak and seal up every hole, you’ll always be thinking you’re empty because nobody has chosen to love you.
When in reality, it’s because you haven’t yet loved yourself.”
The other guy doesn’t have to change his nature.
The other guy doesn’t have to become mean and resentful and angry.
All the other guy has to do is simply redirect his focus and start loving inwardly so it can be expressed outwardly, rather than loving outwardly to compensate for not loving inwardly.
That’s all it takes.
I hope the other guy listens, and I hope the other guy takes my advice.
Because the other guy deserves love too.
And one day, I hope he will find it.
This week’s episode is out, by the way-
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This is really nice 👏...
And I also hope the other guy finds the love he seeks for after loving himself first.
I hope the other guy sees the gem of a heart he carries. I hope he is brave enough to love himself without seeking validation for the love he is.
Thank you for this beautiful piece Ebun🪻