i understand why so many women hate men

and i honestly don’t blame them.

Jun 24, 2025

I genuinely cannot remember the last time I used the internet for a few hours and I did not come across a piece of content that was created to criticise, mock, insult, or downright degrade members of the male gender.

To provide some context, the only way I access the “open” internet, apart from YouTube, is through Snapchat and Substack.

Snapchat, because every post on people’s stories nowadays is either a TikTok video, Instagram reel, or the screenshot of a tweet.

Substack, because using Notes gives me access to so many different articles.

So, on every other day, I either see a video or tweet or article that’s targeted at “men” or discussing “men”, and the subject matter is almost never positive.

Of course, many of these pieces are created by women, and what I’ve observed is that there’s a message spectrum in these pieces.

I’ve noticed that they always range from “simple jokes” (playful banter) to “outright hate” (vile and misandrist).

For example, you can have a tweet talking about men/men's habits/men's activities or a tweet that’s outrightly declaring hate or violence toward men.

Or you’ll have an article that’s narrating someone’s personal experience(s) with a man/men.

Or maybe it’ll be a humourous video about men/men's habits/men's activities. (Think #Womeninmenfields).

These pieces are often accompanied by hundreds to thousands of supportive comments, likes, and shares/reposts (most of which are done by women too).

Now, obviously, minus content that’s generally hateful/violent, there’s probably nothing wrong with any of these things.

Freedom of speech and all.

Interestingly enough though, some women will argue with you that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with “cyberbullying” men on the internet since men have done so much real harm to women off the internet.

And also since there are thousands of men who regularly create and share the same type of content about women.

Two very fair points, but that’s by the way.

What’s interesting (and a little bothersome) to me is that in the past few months and years, the creation and dissemination of these types of “content”, including the outrightly hateful ones, has seriously increased.

It’s almost like there’s now an entire digital content ecosystem that’s built solely around condemning and hating on men.

We have Instagram pages that are primarily dedicated to posting such related tweets, memes, and quotes, and we have social media influencers who have built a following by majorly creating/pushing such related content.

Now, because it’s the internet, you’re going to hit me with the “not every post is that serious” line, and I will 100% agree with you.

In fact, I take everything I see/read/watch on the internet with a pinch of salt because I believe that it’s just a void– a space that doesn’t exist to me again the moment I turn off my phone.

And since anybody on there can do or say whatever they want, with little to no consequences attached, it’ll be ill-advised for me or you to take it too seriously.

BUT-

That doesn’t mean we should forget the fact that online actions have offline implications and that the content we consume shape our thoughts and perspectives more than we’d like to admit.

So I think there’s something noteworthy about this particular situation, especially since it’s become so popular and prevalent.

I also want you to note the fact that, for many, many centuries, people have been wrapping up their personal trauma and the serious implications of societal issues in “jokes” in a bid to make handling them easier to bear.

Therefore, it won’t be too out of context to think that members of the female demographic, who we all know have suffered more than their fair share of said trauma and issues, would currently be doing the same thing.

This means that while some of these pieces are often sarcastic, humorous, and even found relatable by other women, many of them are coming from a place of deep resentment, bitterness, pain, and even anger.

A “coping mechanism” of sorts.

Most of the creators/disseminators might never admit to it, but that’s the simple truth.

Some days I shrug and scroll past these types of post if I realise that the argument is not hold any water.

Some days I pause for a moment, feel uncomfortable, and then I genuinely empathise with the creator.

Some days I just can’t help but get defensive when I see that the premise of the narrative is just baseless and ignorant.

And I’ve seen so many examples of these different types of posts.

The fair. The unfair. The foolish.

I’ll tell you something interesting that happened one day.

So like four or five girls on my Snap reposted this particular TikTok screenshot that was talking about men doing or being something in particular (I can’t remember what, but it was negative, of course).

It was funny to me when I noticed, and I just had to ask one of the girls if women had any unique experiences at all.

Her reply was, “I guess we don’t.”

Now you can say these girls are just trying to “feel among” by reposting each other’s content, and while that’s the case sometimes, settling on that narrative might be a little shallow.

The real crux of this issue is what I often ask myself:

“Do so many women really hate or have a problem with men?”

Well, the answer is a resounding: YES.

A lot of them do.

And to be honest, I don’t blame them one bit for it.

Let me just be clear that I DO NOT agree with many of the narratives about men that are spun around the internet today.

I also do not think that painting all men with the same brush or firmly believing that “all men are the same” is morally or ethically fair.

However, the worrying truth is that a large number of women have suffered similar bad experiences from a large number of men.
So much so that they are now almost autonomous in their beliefs and perspectives about the male gender.

To the point that when a man misbehaves, they just say that, “A man has manned again.”

Plus so many other “men are this” and “men are that” narratives.

Are they funny? Sometimes they are, honestly.
Do they bother me? Not really, because my conscience is largely clear.
Is there a potential for greater concern? Yes, there definitely is.

The truth is that the world has not been kind to women in so many ways, and men have been largely responsible for a lot of that unkindness.

Statistically. Historically. Relationally.

And unless you just want to be blissfully ignorant or plainly misogynistic, it’s practically impossible to ignore the sheer volume of wrongdoing that has been done (and is still being done) to women by men.

Men have abused their strength, positions, and power, to the detriment of a woman.

Men have harassed women on the streets, talked over them in offices, and silenced their voices in relationships.

Men have cheated, manipulated, gaslit, and betrayed women in many one-on-one relationships.

Men have turned women into jokes, sexual objects, and trophies.

Men have left women to raise their children alone and bear the burdens of the family.

Men have used women’s bodies and then blamed or killed them for complaining about or fighting against being used.

Men have been presented to women as the centre of their worlds, where everything they ever dare to dream, aspire, or achieve, is meant to revolve around their potential “selection” by a man in the future.

Hmm.

It’s all so wild.

Merely hearing these things and seeing them play out in reality is already crazy enough; talk less of experiencing it every day for the bulk of your life.

I can’t even imagine it.

And I understand that I can never understand, but I do empathise.

So, yeah, I get the “hate”, honestly.

It’s as a result of the reputation we’ve earned for ourselves, and it’s more or less coming from a justified place.

Exhaustion. Disappointment. Weariness. Frustration. Anger.

You probably won’t get it unless you’re in their shoes.

Now, from observation, I’ve realised that on a deeper level, many women don’t actually hate men.
Not in the literal sense of the word “hate”, which is that they don’t loathe and wish evil upon every single man on Earth.

(Yeah, I know that there are some who actually do, and we’ll get to them in a bit.)

When a woman says she “hates” men, what she might be doing is summing up all the frustrations of the realities she’s forced to live with and then channelling it at the one justifiable source.

A man.

Many women have boyfriends, fathers, and brothers that they really love, and they are all men.

Many women also receive love, gifts, and affection from men.

Many women have good male friends.

So, it’s not logical for them to claim to “hate” all the men in the world because they do not know all the men in the world.

However, it makes sense for them to view all the men in the world from the same lens that they view the man or men that did them wrong.

That’s why I prefer to interpret “I hate men” as “I hate the negative realities I have to face as a woman because of men”.

She can mean:

- “I hate the way I have to plan my life around safety and caution every single time that I go out.”

- “I hate the way I’ll probably never be able to trust or love a man again because of my past experiences.”

- “I hate the way I’ve been made to feel small in rooms that I earned and worked for the right to be in.”

- “I hate the way some men use my kindness and friendliness as an opportunity to take advantage of me.”

- “I hate that it can be said that I’m ‘too much’ or ‘too loud.’”

- “I hate the way I seem to lose so much in so many places just because I am a woman.”

- “I hate the way I, the victim, can be blamed for being at ‘fault’ when I am harmed or harassed.”

- “I hate the way I can possess many other qualities but will still be reduced to a mere object just because I have or do not have certain physical qualities.”

Something like that.

You might be a bit desensitised to all of these things if you’re not a woman, and that’s okay.

But that doesn’t mean that they are not a reality.

You don’t need these things to happen to your sister, or your wife, or your mother, before you understand how bad it actually is.

These complaints we receive from women as men span beyond just their personal heartbreaks or individual experiences.

They’re systemic, generational, and they are very unfair.

The most concerning thing for me in this situation is how what we’re doing now is we’re shaping the next generation.

Young girls who can barely form an opinion for themselves are growing up watching these videos, reading these tweets, and absorbing the memes.

So, before they can even think rationally enough to understand different situations and contexts, the internet has already fully prepared a narrative for them: all men are dangerous. all men are useless. all men are to be avoided.

Which is untrue, like it or not.

And while I understand the importance of teaching young girls caution, there’s still a very thin line between education and indoctrination.

Plus, we all know that there will be people who will take advantage of their innocence for the sake of pushing their own selfish agendas and beliefs.

My major worry is that these impressionable young women will grow up having a skewed perception of the world and the men in it.

It’s something that calls for serious caution.

Now, my aim is not to paint women as “oh-so-perfect” flawless beings who have men as their only problems in life.

I mean, we have so many cases of women doing wrong to other women.

And yes, women can also and have also hurt men too.

A lot.

When I say that, I think of the many stories about patriarchal fraud, false rape accusations, domestic abuse, etc.

So I guess we can agree that the deep problematic ability to hurt others is not rooted in gender but in the human condition.

I hope we can, at least, be honest about that.

Now, of course, there are also women who have taken the subject of this discussion to extreme levels.

Full-blooded, passionate misandrists who believe that women can do no wrong and that every representation of the masculine should be treated with vile contempt.

I’m talking about the ones who have made hating men their entire life purpose and have prudently stuck to it.

The ones who will never acknowledge it when they see a man doing something that’s good.

The ones who claim to “not care about men” but centre all that they think, do, and say around the same men they claim not to care about in a desperate bid to always remind us how much they don’t care.

The ones who use “feminism” as a means of justifying their very toxic behaviours.

On them, I really prefer not to speak.

However, for the sake of this post, I’ll UNFAIRLY assume that these women think and act that way due to whatever pain or trauma they or the women around them have suffered in the past at the hands of men.

Being vile and toxic towards men and/or the mention of men, both on and off the internet, helps them cope with the burden they have to carry with them every day.

I mean, it’s either that or they are just that way for no particular, justifiable reason.

If that’s the case, then that’s just really pathetic.

But for those who have been hurt, I understand that I can never understand, but I do empathise.

It’s okay to “not care” about all these “online talks”, my concern is more with the offline implications.

Men need women, and women need men.

That’s the conclusion of the matter.

There’s no amount of propaganda, one-sided social media narratives, or societal conditioning that will change this fact.

Men need women, and women need men.

Unless you’re saying that God made a mistake by creating two genders and placing them to simultaneously exist together on the same planet.

If you are then, I’ll remind you that God doesn’t make mistakes.

If you’re not, then you’ll agree with me that we need each other.

Even outside traditional gender roles, responsibilities, and expectations.

Especially outside traditional gender roles, responsibilities, and expectations.

If we want our families, communities, and the world at large to thrive and function better, then we need to start getting along better.

Men need women, and women need men.

I don’t ever feel the need to “rescue” male pride every time someone calls a man out, even in cases where the call-out is unfair.

However, in this case, I think a lot more men need to really sit down with the weight of what’s going on, and not just dismiss it as “internet activity”.

Even if women don’t literally “hate” men, they have a systemic hatred towards what we have come to represent.
And it’s only going to get worse unless we do something about it.

If we don’t want the next generation of boys to already be hated for who they are before they even get the chance to become men, then something has to be done.

We need to change, and we need to do better.

You. Me. All of us.

Until then, their animosity toward us will 9 out of 10 times continue to be justified, and we can’t blame them for it.